Rude Reader

Please excuse me while I take a step back from the purpose of this blog to address a fan of mine. The first draft of this post was........graphic at best........but I'm all calm now.

I recently received an extremely rude e-mail from someone regarding this blog post about vampire mythology. I quoted from Alex Epstein and basically agreed with him. Clearly the writer of said e-mail didn't take kindly to what I said about 'Twilight':

I made my feelings known about 'Twilight' in this little rant.

What's scary about a guy who sparkles in the sun? Absolutely nothing! Similarly, take a look at this trailer for 'Twilight: New Moon'. In a rather tense moment, some dude changes into a wolf to save the girl *insert feminism rant here*

Here, I was merely commenting on what Epstein had said about whether a vampire who can go out in sunlight is indeed a vampire.

Anyway, I got this message on the same day Laurence posted about a rude reader of his own blog. I'm not going to give out the e-mail (as much as I'd like to), but it comes from a chap named Dave. Note: I'm not one for censoring posts so be warned - strong language ahead. This is what the e-mail said:

"i just read your web site and your a fuckin knob head!!!!!!!! you dish twilight and i dish you. twilight is the best fuckin things on the planet and yours isnt!!!!! edward is a fuckin fuck awesome!!!!! you like that stupid thign about that fuckin cunt vampireslayer and shes a fuckin hore!!!!!!!!! you cant make films as good as fuckin twilight you fucking cunt twat!!!!!!!! if you fuck wiht twilight again im going to fuckin fight you cock!!!!!! so do it again i fuckin dare you fuckin coward!!!!!!! il fight you now!!!!!!"

Yeah.............well............

As you can see, a very in-depth argument about why I should leave 'Twilight' alone. I particularly love the mention that 'Twilight' is better than any film I have made. I agree - I've never made a film!

I am slightly concerned that someone can become that angry about something; angry enough to find my contacts page and e-mail me about it. But not half as concerned as I am about this line:

"if you fuck wiht twilight again im going to fuckin fight you cock!!!!!!"

Now does that Dave will fight my.....erm.......yeah.......

I accept that I voice my opinions and that people might not agree with them. But that's all they are - my opinions! This is my blog after all. I strongly invite anyone to debate what's said on here, but what I don't encourage is what you've just read from Dave.

So, Dave - if you're out there, reading this argumentative opinionated blog with a small following, thank you for reading, but please don't contact me again. I haven't replied to your previous message and I won't reply to any future ones.

Oh and I can't resist - I do believe Dave threw down the gauntlet, saying he would fight me if I "fuck with twilight" again. So on that note, I-DON'T-LIKE -- wait! Maybe I'll just let this video say it.......



That's all folks!

Joss Mythology

WARNING - MORE EXTREME JOSS LOVE AHEAD. FANS OF TRUE BLOOD, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, TWILIGHT BEWARE!

Here's an interesting article about the mythology of Joss Whedon's 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and its impact on not only on the vampire world but also television storytelling as a whole.

The real peak happened when a girl not only fell in love with a vampire, but also when she began slaying them. That girl's name is Buffy Summers, and her series is perhaps the greatest mythology show of all time.

No surprise here - we Whedonites will fight to the death when defending 'Buffy'. And when fighting for 'Firefly', we'll come back from the dead to argue!!!

Show-runner Joss Whedon developed a structure wherein each season is a self-contained story, and each story ties into each other story creating a seven intertwined story run. As I said before, each season features a Big Bad, many of whom contribute to the show's over-arching mythos. Beyond the structural blueprint, unlike most show-runners of the time, and many still, Whedon had no problems upsetting the status quo. Characters evolve, relationships change, and consequences of a character's action in one season remain relevant for many seasons to come.

Joss is famous for his extensive planning. In season 3 there are references to the exact date Buffy dies in season 5!

Buffy is more like a novel for television. All of the episodes contribute to a big picture, a picture the viewer may not see at first, but will become clear as the story reveals itself. Now this is a lofty goal for television, a commerce-based art form, which, at least at the time, relied on viewers for profitability. Problem is, the complexity of the narrative, the ever-evolving status quo had the potential to alienate casual viewers. As much as the show had a passionate following of fans who would never dare miss an episode, it also left many confused or afraid that they'd never be able to catch up.

There's a trend nowadays to have episodes with a very stong theme. But that theme is often forgotten about at the endof the episode and promptly contradicted in the very next episode. As mentioned above, the problem with serial TV is that it's hard to join mid-point. Would you attempt to start watching 'The Wire' at episode 7? Or '24'? Or 'Dexter'?

As TV continues to splinter, the door will continue to open to the possibilities of television as a medium for quality storytelling.

There was a time when the 'best' writers would be found creating amazing scripts for thought-provoking movies. But I'm adament that the finest writers today are working on television. If I gave a list of my top 10 screenwriters, only two of them would be known as a 'movie writer.' The first is David Goyer, who coincidently heads TV's 'FlashForward' now. And the other would be James Cameron, who created 'Dark Angel' for TV all that time ago.

You can read the whole article here and feel free to get debating. I agree with 99% of the article but there must be someone out there bold enough to suggest Joss Whedon isn't the closest thing to a god we'll ever get!

Wednesday's Whedonism

Willow: Is there anything you don't know everything about?
Giles: Synchronized swimming. Complete mystery to me.

-- Giles (Tony Head), 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'

Episodic vs. Serial

This is a great post from Alex Epstein about episodic vs serial TV:

There is currently a pretty big disconnect, as far as I can tell, between the kind of tv shows that writers love to watch, and the kinds of tv shows that networks want to be pitched.

Ask anyone, the networks want episodic shows. They want shows you can tune in for episodes 5 and 8 and 11 and not feel you missed anything.

The kinds of shows I like are, oh, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and DEXTER and MAD MEN. Sure, each episode tells some kind of story that completes by the end of the hour. But you really can't appreciate what you're seeing if you haven't seen a few recent episodes.

For sure, serial shows are harder to write. We painted ourselves into one or two pretty tight corners on CHARLIE JADE. Expectations are higher. No one would have minded the mess at the end of BSG if it hadn't been the culmination of years of story arcs.

But serial shows are more satisfying to write. You get to take the characters places. We got the BUFFY boxed set and we're watching Willow change from Hacker Girl to Cute Teenage Witch to Power in Her Own Right to Big Bad. And that's on a show that strives to give you an hour's complete entertainment.

Network execs will tell you that even viewers who say they watch a show tend to watch only about 1 out of 4 episodes. (That's hard to fathom because when my friends watch a show, they watch every episode or stop watching it. They buy the DVD or TiVo the whole thing. But I've heard this from several people who ought to know these things.) The danger with a serial show is that every time you lose a viewer, they don't come back; while it's very hard to get new viewers in mid-season. Who's going to start watching 24 in the middle?

When I'm pitching, I'm continually trying to thread the needle. So are many of the writers I know. We talk about X-FILES and how there was always an episodic story but it often contributed a clue to the überplot; or VERONICA MARS. We try to stay away from mentioning LOST; apparently it doesn't count because no one knows why it's working in spite of its ridiculously complex story arcs. (Maybe because of the ridiculously complex story arcs? But you can't say that.) And we try very hard to make sure there is a strong episodic story motor in the template of the show.

It's frustrating, because you can point to any number of successful shows that are blatantly serial. Soaps, even. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. GRAY'S ANATOMY. GOSSIP GIRL. Anything on HBO or AMC.

I dunno, maybe there's a list of showrunners who are approved to write serials. Obviously, serials get made. Maybe it's like movies and hooks: it's not that movies don't get made without hooks, it's just that you can't get a movie made without a hook.

But the moral of the story is: the TV you love may not be the TV network executives want more of. Serial shows are a pain in the ass. You lose audience when you preempt them. You lose audience when you move them. And then if you cancel then, people mail you boxes of nuts. Safer to license CSI: WASILLA.

Or you can just go ahead and pitch what you love, and hope it comes out all right in the end.

So what do we think? This relates mainly to American television, but what's it like in the UK? 'Coronation Street' vs 'Spooks'? Is there an assumption that serial TV is somehow 'worse' than episodic?

I don't watch a lot of Brit TV (I know, shoot me!). I find American stuff more to my tastes - obviously the work of Joss Whedon and 'Dexter' at the moment. Where does the future of TV lie? In episodic of serial? Or the combination of both as we see most often?

Genuine question!

Poll results: favourite fantasy story

Last month I asked "What is your favourite fantasy book/series?"

There was quite a good response. As I expected, Lord of the Rings took top place with 29% of the votes. Strangely - and I'm to blame for this for a limited knowledge of popular fantasy - it was followed by 'other,' taking 22%. Only one person said what her favourite was and that's Magz - "Unfortunately my favourite (to date) wasn't listed which is 'The Wheel of Time' series by Robert Jordan."

Coming in 3rd was the ever popular Harry Potter series with 18% of the votes, followed closely by Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy* with 14%. Steph had this to say:

That was so hard! I chose "His Dark Materials" in the end but it was like trying to pick a favourite child. Almost impossible & I feel like I've cheated on Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia and Lord of the Rings.

Plus there are also the great fantasy series by David Eddings and Stephen Donaldson. Plus we can't really look over the addictive madness of Meryn Peake ummm. Ok I'm sticking with His Dark Materials but it was hard. A top 10 would have been easier. Thanks for reminding me how much I love fantasy books.

I find what Steph said very interesting - "it was like trying to pick a favourite child". Almost everyone is in love with fantasy to some degree. For some it's the escapism of getting lost in a story. For others it's the thrill of adventure. Some people (myself included) like to highlight all the similarities between fantasy and real life. No-one can deny that in His Dark Materials!

Bringing up the rear were Peter Pan (7%), with The Chronicles of Narnia and Artemis Fowl each getting 3%. Shockingly no-one at all voted for Eragon, The Night Watch, Alice in Wonderland or The Conan Chronicles.

Interesting results nevertheless. But I'm genuinely surprised no-one voted for Alice in Wonderland what with Tim Burton's upcoming feature starring Johnny Depp.

Thanks to all who voted, but I now ask one more thing of you - what makes a great fantasy story?

A much harder question, because now you have to justify your answer. Feel free to leave comments below or send me a wave.

Stay shiny,
Neil.

*His Dark Materials is also my favourite fantasy
series, mainly because of the incredible
characterisation Pullman employs.

Wednesday's Whedonism

The game. It's actually kinda fun when you know the rules. I mean, when you know that there aren't any. You screw with me, and you screw with me, and you screw with me. And now, I get to screw with you! That's gonna be great!

-- Angel (David Boreanaz), 'Angel'